Archive for the ‘religion’ Tag

Bear, Melksham, Wiltshire   2 comments

Bear Melksham sign

 

I didn’t make any notes (well, there were mental notes that I forgot before leaving the house) regarding the opening times of pubs in Melksham except that I knew at least one opened at 10:30 and another at 11.  I soon found that none of the ones I spotted on the trot in from Semington were these.

Arriving at the King’s Arms, which was signposted as opening at 11, I found the doors locked (of course…it was 10 minutes till) and was confronted by a thin, middle-aged bloke with the needy smile of a Christian zealot.  Obviously, he must have thought, this underdressed man sweating in the rain needs my help and to be saved from eternal damnation; “are you alright, there, sir?” he asked and offered in the same breath.  “Atheist, here,” I corrected more politely than I am usually capable; “not in the market for fairy tales.”  Taken aback, he quickly asked, “how…how did you know?”  Pointing with a wiggly forefinger at his face with its needy eyes and practised rictus and his tidy and casual but unmistakeable suburban missionary’s garb, “what else would cause, you know, this?”  I thought a quick trot around the town would be in order and I could stop back by when the God-botherer found more fertile ground to plow.

Five minutes and half a mile passed and I was ready to head back when I spotted the Bear with a key bit of information: it is a Wetherspoon so the bar had been serving since 8 or 9 am.  Ideal.

Inside, I chatted with the very pleasant bar manager about the run I was on and the beer that I ordered.  I could easily have leaned on the bar and talked to her for a couple of rounds but thought it prudent to stick to just one and found a table in the busy and very modern interior of this mock Tudor inn.  The sun emerged as I was considering a second and I decided to go find a fish and chip shop that might be open (although the first I got to didn’t open until 11:30, and the second at 11:45…ten minutes early for each of them, a theme that I only realised on the bus ride home).

Bear Melksham

Posted 2014/11/23 by Drunken Bunny in pubs, Run Across Britain

Tagged with , , ,

DT #319, 15 November 2014 (Petit Monde French Red)   7 comments

Petit Monde French Red table wine

 

“Salaam alaikum.
Is this a muslim household?”
No, have a nice night.

Name: Petit Monde French Red table wine
Type: red wine
Venue: house, in the new ‘pub room’

Review/notes: The doorbell rang and I found four young men dressed for mosque and carrying a list of neighbourhood folk with likely names (our predecessors in this house as well as the landlord are Iranian).  Tempted to invite them in for tea I thought better of it not for the sake of the open bottle of wine but more for the disarray the dining and living rooms were in.

We got a carpet remnant that looks like it came from a pub refurbishment which, in fact, it had.  Hard wearing, plush and meant to hide stains from spilt beverages, vomit, or folks that wee themselves as they lean against the bar, we roughed it out to fit the dining room and started rearranging the space so that we could fit our bar in there.  It is now, unofficially, the Public Bar of the Drunken Bunny pub…complete with bar cat:

Edie on the Pub carpet

[DT =Daily Tipple, explained in DT #000 here]

Monthly consolidations/compilations: January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October

DT #199, 18 July 2014 (Enraptured)   1 comment

Enraptured Four Candles Oxford

Illegal downloads:
Daily Show, The Leftovers.
My America.

Name: Enraptured
Type: bitter
Venue: Four Candles, Oxford

Review/notes: Arriving early to survey the sudden departure of the blessed and to prepare for the Tribulation to come, I found myself free from the earthly bonds of work by 10am.  A transformer that serves the labs is down until at least Monday and I just had to make things safe for those Left Behind.

Enraptured is powerfully hopped and has the burnt flavour of heavily toasted malt–as though from the depths of the fiery furnace.

The Leftovers has really captured my attention and I look forward to it every week.  I think Sky Atlantic is picking it up this Autumn for those not into bootleg vids.

 

Enraptured Four Candles Oxford pump clip

[DT =Daily Tipple, explained in DT #000 here]

Monthly consolidations/compilations: January
February
March
April
May
June

Hashlam in Society by Slowsama-bin-Riden   31 comments

Cain'sMosqueLiverpool

The treatise before you seeks to introduce the uninformed world to Hashlam, the faith of Hashers worldwide, and to dispel the myths and innuendo that have developed due to prejudices brought on, too often, from the practice of its rites in view of the general public, insh’Gispert (G-willing).  The religious aspects are regularly covered on individual hashing sites and on Wikipedia; this entry will try to deal with some of the societal implications.

Most of the misinformation comes from the ambiguity and subtlety between the various forms of practice of Hashlam. Many of you will have heard of the two major sects, the Shites and the Sotties, with the Shites adherents of the PreLay (paths to the True Trail that exist before the journey is taken) while the Sotties believe in Live trails (often a misnomer) that must be discerned from freshly given divine clues.  Subtleties in belief and practice all too often result in G-Had as in the one called by a hasher known as Ibn-Love FatWa of the fundamentalist Sottie group known as the Arizona Larrikins (aka, Mr Happy’s) against a less well established Sottie sect known as Bike Hashlam (whose cultish offshoot, the Cycletologists, boasts many celebrity members) culminating in the flour fueled carpet bombing of the Bike Hash’s first Red Dress Run (this rite is described on most Hashing websites and will not be explored here).

Results of the Bike Hash G-Had

Results of the Bike Hash G-Had

It may come as a surprise to many of you that Hashlam has its antecedents in the other two great Western religions, ie, Brewdaism and Trackstianity (which itself developed from the Brewdaic tradition via a more fundamentalist form of the Beer Run). In fact, the path to Hashlam, known as the True Trail, very often involves dabbling in one or both of the older faiths with even observant members of Orthodox Brewdaism taking up running and very sober members of Trackstian sects finding solace in a Brewish Temple.

It is written and widely believed that, having taken up the Way of the True Trail, it is impossible for one to leave. Liberal adherents believe the prescribed death of an ex-Hasher is meant to be figurative, but support groups such as Apostacy Alcoholics, or AA, have taken on many a wayward Hasher and are considered heretical organisations even by the most broad-minded believers. There may even be time to explore the Seven-ish Pillars of Hashlam, most famous of which being the Interhaaj in which every hasher of nearly the financial means is expected to go make an ass of himself in a foreign land.

In future postings, we hope to shed light on how Hashlam has integrated with Eastern religions such as the Budhists (of both the Budweiser and Budvar varieties) and the exotic Tindu pantheon of tinned (and bottled!) beverages.

Slowsama-bin-Riden

The Centre for Hashlamic Studies was founded in 2013 by Slowsama-bin-Riden with the mission to examine and explain Hashlam’s place in out increasingly interdependent world. Slowsama can be contacted by the faithful via Hashspace and by the rest of you infidel dogs at dr.slowride@yahoo.com .

Gispert aleichem…aleichem,on-on.

Presidential Betting Odds Election Eve   Leave a comment

Betting the last pound? Last hundred quid? The big money is on Romney and the smart money is….

 

Paddy Power has already cashed out for Obama, but it was only £400K (and at their odds, the advertising revenue equivalent makes this a bargain…they are still taking bets, by the way).  I hope the gamblers’ optimism is right but, except for Clinton, Obama is the only other Republican I have ever voted for (don’t give me that Official Party Affiliation bullshit, you purists, they are both right of Nixon).

Anyway, now that this is all done and dusted, keep in mind you can still bet on other politics, the X-Factor, Rugby (Union or League), and Religion.  That’s right.  Religion.

Oxford Capacity Analysis (Scientology Personality Test)   Leave a comment

I took the Oxford Personality Assessment (not related to my employer in any way but, rather, to Scientology although I copped it off another site and it was named something else there to keep the Scientology lawyers at bay–see http://testself.org/index.html if you want to take it yourself, but read the instructions at http://testself.org/fca_instructs.html first). Even if you don’t take the assessment, spend some time reading some of the questions…for example, these were especially appealing to me for various reasons:

Do you speak slowly?     Is your life a constant struggle for survival?     Are your actions considered unpredictable by other people?     Do you have a small circle of close friends, rather than a large number of friends, speaking acquaintances?     Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it?     Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates?     Could you agree to “strict discipline”?     Are you “always getting into trouble”?     Do you ever get a “dreamlike” feeling toward life when it all seems unreal?     Are you a slow eater?     Do children irritate you?     Would you make the necessary actions to kill an animal in order to put it out of pain?     Do you often feel upset about the fate of war victims and political refugees?     [Note, some of these are especially good for hashers–a ‘circle’ of friends, unpredictability, songs for no apparent reason, gossipy, everyone has wanted to hold a pillow over Fatty’s face at one point or another, etc.]

I was prepared to blow off the results and have a good laugh at it because, like most other reviewers, I think it is designed to relieve your grip on your money. Still the initial results were compelling:

My scores showed me to be “Stable, Happy, Active, and Self-Assured as opposed to Unstable (some may question this one), Depressed, Passive or Submissive (and I am a bit surprised about those last two but it wasn’t that kind of test). On the downside, my scores also indicate I am Nervous (not Composed), Irresponsible, Hypercritical and Insensitive to Others (all of which seem spot on). My borderline scores indicated I’m Unpredictable and Withdrawn…spooky.

It also cross-correllates some of the results predicting correctly that I am subject to “Compulsive activity [and] unable to rest,” as well as pointing out that I “feel superior” and that I am “paranoid, hard to get along with.” Really, I’ve got no argument with any of that.

At least, that was the test taken “honestly,” with answers I believe to be true. I then resubmitted the test with the results exactly the opposite (yes became no, + became -, nothing answered ‘maybe’). I was surprised to see that this ranked Anti-Me as 100% (full-scale) Unstable and Depressed, and somewhat Passive and Submissive but, at least, these were about the opposite in magnitude to the previous results. My “Nervous,” “Irresponsible,” and “Hypercritical” scores went essentially unchanged, Anti-Me went from borderline Unpredictable to Highly Reliable and seemed to have gotten slightly more Withdrawn. At this point, we are starting to see ‘Horoscope’ and ‘Palm Reader’ like patterns although this opinion could be explained by my cross-correlation analysis that Anti-Me is “Prone to Angry Outbursts”.

The funniest results were when I submitted all “Maybe” answers (straight line right down the middle). Wishy-Washy Me ranked as 100% Unstable (although how much more stable can you possibly get than one answer?). While Highly Reliable (maybe), Wishy-Washy Me seems also to be Self Assured (oh, I dunno), and Hypercritical (it’s possible, but I couldn’t really say for sure).

Apparently this level of indifference also means that Wishy-Washy Me is Prone to Angry Outbursts but if they think that then they can go fuck themselves (if that’s alright with them, or not, I don’t know, sorry for bringing it up).

 

Quitters! (and, other religion news)   2 comments

Okay, not a lot of new pub action to report on lately…been busy looking for a new house, been out of the country, and the local has been getting our regular drinkin’ business.What HASN’T been getting regular business can be gleaned from this photo:

quitters...

In other church news, well, I’ve been an avowed atheist for a looonnnngggg time but aparently the church is…ermmmm…reaching out:

http://www.sexinchrist.com/fist.html

Posted 2010/12/07 by Drunken Bunny in Made me laugh

Tagged with ,

%d bloggers like this: