*This is the last post on THIS blog site. I have used up my entire allotment of media space for 1pumplane.wordpress.com so this remains, as long as wordpress will allow it to, as an archive of the first 6 years (almost) of the Endless British Pub Crawl. I also have an offline version stored (a bit more than a DVD’s worth) for shits and giggles once this archive leaves the ether. If you are still interested in following my progress toward a) drinking in every pub in the country, b) running coast-to-coast and North-to-South, and c) becoming British (both figuratively and literally), you’ll find the Endless British Pub Crawl Continues at
This was never supposed to last this long. When I started the blog in January 2009, I had been in Britain 5 days and thought it might be a good way to dump some photos and post some updates where a few friends back home could find them and without having to post or email them individually with items that all of them would be getting, anyway. I thought it might last into the middle of Spring at most. But, I found the landscape and culture too compelling (and this medium as both a diary and a newsletter too personally entertaining) to quit. Now, it has metastasized into a sick addiction…and the few regular readers that stick with it are just perverse voyeurs (God-love-ye!).
I don’t think the writing will improve much as this continues but I will, initially at least, strive for quality in lieu of quantity. And, more frequent knob jokes. See you there.
Of all the Advent themed marketing ploys I have been spammed with this season, this is the one that makes me giggle most:
because I keep thinking this:
This made me laugh so abruptly it made me spit a hot, milky liquid out (grow up…I was having tea). Good eye on the jHavelina HHH harriette that spotted this:
I’m a good pilot,
You really should fly with me.
I’d take care of you.
–We watched an interview of Joseph Heller from 1979…always makes me think of Orr.
Name: XT 8
Type: dark ale
Venue: Far From The Madding Crowd, Oxford
Review/notes: This was a lovely beer but I was brought down by the local music magazine. I really wish there was more original music in Swindon. I mean, cover bands might even be preferable to the endless range of tribute acts although the band names tend to be good (current favourite: Oasish). Speaking of great names:
[DT =Daily Tipple, explained in DT #000 here]
Monthly consolidations/compilations: January
I use Map My Run because it works with the GPS chip in the smart phone I bought off a junkie in Amsterdam. Others do as well, but I’ve become accustomed to MMR. I came up with my own personal challenge to run 3 or more miles every day in the holiday season two days before the start of their Holiday Marathon Challenge. You get credit for your logged runs toward the distance of a full marathon and there are random draws for prizes for participants…none for farthest or fastest or largest number of runs, just participants (although to get in the grand prize draw you have to complete the virtual marathon).
One caveat: you must live within the 50 United States or Puerto Rico or a sovereign territory or the USA, which leaves me out of the prizes. Still, I’m rather enjoying the wee game so it might come as a surprise that I am calling on my brethren jackasses to crash the system while I continue –completely out of character — to play by the rules.
Why? Take a look at Day 5 as screen-captured at 4 pm GMT:
There I am with my puny 5 runs, one per day, averaging 4.4 miles per run at about 8 minutes per mile. Nothing to be proud of nor, indeed, to be ashamed of considering these have all been done on a broken toe and several whilst dead drunk. But, I have to hang my head beneath the “achievements” of the Top 3. Let’s parse their numbers, all self reported as can be your own:
“Lukas J” has run 195.8 miles in 26h 56m, or 39.16 miles per day averaging 8:15/mile throughout although, granted, this is spread out over 4 or 5 runs per day. Who can compete with this?
Perhaps “Tony M,” who is similarly impressive, fitting in 8 runs per day averaging 32 minutes per run of about 3.2 miles. That’s 8 runs over a ½ hour each every 24 hour day for the last 5…let’s hope he picks up the pace a bit.
The top female in this Cavalcade of Gods is “stacie g” who may be the most impressive, yet, with 2 runs per day averaging over 11.7 miles per run at an 8:04/mile pace. Marvellous.
So, I would ask that you lot register with Map My Run (if there is a ‘Tell Us How You Heard About Us’ part to the registration, mention this post) and submit similarly bogus efforts. Maybe record a run whilst driving 80 mph down the motorway, or a 24 hour long run every two days keeping a 6 minutes per mile pace…be creative. I’ll be slogging along, stopping at pubs every hour or so (maybe more frequently), and watching your efforts with earnest interest.
UPDATE: 20 minutes after the above screen capture, “Lukas J” logged 2 more runs adding another 10.4 miles. Awesome, or more accurately unbelievable. You all have a lot of bogus mileage to log if you are going to catch up:
UPDATE: At the end of 5 days, “stacie g” has gotten lazy and was displaced but I find myself most impressed by “Charles C” who is averaging 8 hours 49 minutes per day running, in 4h 52m chunks (obviously he has to take a break every now and then to charge his Garmin battery):
UPDATE: Well into day 6 (30th of November), our winner for most ludicrous entry of the day goes to ‘Brad L’ with 105.5 miles at a 4m 35s pace. I hope he’s one of my saboteurs:
Emily Thornberry, MP, the Labour Party Shadow Attorney General was forced to resign the Front Benches today for tweeting this picture of a lorry stuck under a low bridge draped with St George flags and the caption, “Typical Swindon, eh?”
The Big Society — the idea that everyone should pitch in to do the things, like library work and teaching adult literacy, that we used to depend on competent professionals to do –seems to have creeped into law enforcement and crime investigations. As a victim, please retrieve one of the conveniently distributed Evidence Bags and deposit blood samples and any shards of glass or other pieces of makeshift weaponry you can find. Bring this to the Magistrate’s Court and wait patiently to register your items before continuing on to A&E down the hospital. Thank you for helping Swindon and Britain become better places to live for everyone.