I was finishing my piece of cod outside as an old woman scurried by. I thought she sneezed and was just about to offer a ‘bless you’ when she made the noise again, ejaculating a whispered “shit!” She looked my way and said, “fucker,” again in a whisper that suggested this was as loud as she could speak.
Inside the Red Lion with my pint of Rebellion IPA, I found her huddled over a half pint, trying to drink it down but having to stop every two seconds or so to spit, “shit” still in a whisper but so furiously that her head wiggled. This was great, and the landlord didn’t seem to notice.
Finally, she finished the glass, stood up, stage whispered, “shit,” one more time; then, in a clear and fairly posh voice loudly thanked the bar man and left. The power of beer, eh? Well, before she made it to the door she spat out, “shit” two more times.