I took the Oxford Personality Assessment (not related to my employer in any way but, rather, to Scientology although I copped it off another site and it was named something else there to keep the Scientology lawyers at bay–see http://testself.org/index.html if you want to take it yourself, but read the instructions at http://testself.org/fca_instructs.html first). Even if you don’t take the assessment, spend some time reading some of the questions…for example, these were especially appealing to me for various reasons:
Do you speak slowly? Is your life a constant struggle for survival? Are your actions considered unpredictable by other people? Do you have a small circle of close friends, rather than a large number of friends, speaking acquaintances? Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it? Do you enjoy telling people the latest scandal about your associates? Could you agree to “strict discipline”? Are you “always getting into trouble”? Do you ever get a “dreamlike” feeling toward life when it all seems unreal? Are you a slow eater? Do children irritate you? Would you make the necessary actions to kill an animal in order to put it out of pain? Do you often feel upset about the fate of war victims and political refugees? [Note, some of these are especially good for hashers--a 'circle' of friends, unpredictability, songs for no apparent reason, gossipy, everyone has wanted to hold a pillow over Fatty's face at one point or another, etc.]
I was prepared to blow off the results and have a good laugh at it because, like most other reviewers, I think it is designed to relieve your grip on your money. Still the initial results were compelling:
My scores showed me to be “Stable, Happy, Active, and Self-Assured as opposed to Unstable (some may question this one), Depressed, Passive or Submissive (and I am a bit surprised about those last two but it wasn’t that kind of test). On the downside, my scores also indicate I am Nervous (not Composed), Irresponsible, Hypercritical and Insensitive to Others (all of which seem spot on). My borderline scores indicated I’m Unpredictable and Withdrawn…spooky.
It also cross-correllates some of the results predicting correctly that I am subject to “Compulsive activity [and] unable to rest,” as well as pointing out that I “feel superior” and that I am “paranoid, hard to get along with.” Really, I’ve got no argument with any of that.
At least, that was the test taken “honestly,” with answers I believe to be true. I then resubmitted the test with the results exactly the opposite (yes became no, + became -, nothing answered ‘maybe’). I was surprised to see that this ranked Anti-Me as 100% (full-scale) Unstable and Depressed, and somewhat Passive and Submissive but, at least, these were about the opposite in magnitude to the previous results. My “Nervous,” “Irresponsible,” and “Hypercritical” scores went essentially unchanged, Anti-Me went from borderline Unpredictable to Highly Reliable and seemed to have gotten slightly more Withdrawn. At this point, we are starting to see ‘Horoscope’ and ‘Palm Reader’ like patterns although this opinion could be explained by my cross-correlation analysis that Anti-Me is “Prone to Angry Outbursts”.
The funniest results were when I submitted all “Maybe” answers (straight line right down the middle). Wishy-Washy Me ranked as 100% Unstable (although how much more stable can you possibly get than one answer?). While Highly Reliable (maybe), Wishy-Washy Me seems also to be Self Assured (oh, I dunno), and Hypercritical (it’s possible, but I couldn’t really say for sure).
Apparently this level of indifference also means that Wishy-Washy Me is Prone to Angry Outbursts but if they think that then they can go fuck themselves (if that’s alright with them, or not, I don’t know, sorry for bringing it up).